Saturday, June 28 is the day we say l’hitra’ot (until we meet again) to Rabbi Fred as he leaves for his sabbatical. While he and Minna won’t be disappearing from our community as members, Rabbi Fred will not be leading services, teaching adult ed, providing pastoral care, or overseeing programming for the congregation. I hope many of you will be on hand to wish him well as he starts his year of study, reflection, and Jewish environmental activism.
Many members will miss Rabbi Fred most when they need pastoral care. Members seek pastoral care both during life cycle events (weddings, births, b’nai mitzvah, deaths) and life crises (illness, unemployment, divorce.) This is one of the primary functions of our clergy and something at which Rabbi Fred excels.
Our community now has over 800 adult members, each with his or her own extended family. While we continue to attract young members, the average age of our members is increasing because we are fortunate to have very low attrition. As we age, the inevitable truth is that our members and their parents and siblings experience an increasing frequency of serious illnesses. Those of us who participate in the listserve are aware of how frequently our community is called upon to participate in shiva minyanim, often several a week. In a fraction of these cases, the community also hosts the funeral. At the same time, our children are growing up and, as anyone who attends services regularly can tell you, we now have a full calendar of b’nai mitzvah celebrations.
During happy life cycle occasions and during illness, loss and grief, members need the support of clergy. As our collective needs increase, our clergy’s time is increasingly taken up with pastoral functions. I use the term “clergy” rather than “rabbi” because in our community we are blessed both by Hazzan Rachel’s musical talents and also with her skills as a pastoral counselor. Earlier this year, when Cantor Sue Roemer was substituting for Hazzan Rachel, she also had both musical and pastoral counseling responsibilities. A cantor who is also a counselor is quite unusual and we have been fortunate to have both Hazzan Rachel and Cantor Sue able to take on this counseling role.
For several years, Hazzan Rachel and Rabbi Fred have worked as co-clergy, sharing the pastoral care load. Unfortunately, not all our members understand our co-clergy model. For example, some people coming from congregations where the cantor was restricted to a purely musical role sometimes expect all the pastoral care to come from the rabbi. The midst of a life crisis is a difficult time to adjust expectations. Members who expecting the rabbi to provide whatever care is needed sometimes end up feeling feel hurt, neglected, or angry, even though they acknowledge receiving wonderful pastoral care from the cantor.
Members need to understand that our clergy members must divide their responsibilities for pastoral care and cannot completely duplicate one another’s efforts. If one clergy member is conducting a funeral, the other clergy member may make a phone call to offer condolences, but will not provide the same level of interaction as the person who has taken on the primary responsibility for pastoral care in this situation. When it comes to life cycle issues, our clergy work as equals in a team approach. Neither of our clergy members can do it all. This is what the co-clergy model is all about.
It is especially crucial for members to understand the co-clergy model as we start Rabbi Fred’s sabbatical year. While Rabbi Fred is on sabbatical, we will have a team of people providing pastoral services. Because people know her better, most members are likely to turn to Hazzan Rachel first when in need. However, she will not be able to perform every funeral, attend every shiva minyan, attend every b’nai mitzvah service, or offer pastoral care to every member experiencing a life crisis. In many cases, Rav George or our student rabbi, Moti, will be the primary person providing pastoral care. In a few cases, Cantor Sue Roemer may step in to help out. Pastoral counseling will also be available from long time member Vicki Breman, who has a health care background and who recently completed a year course on lay pastoral counseling. (See Hazzan Rachel’s column for more details.)
If the co-clergy model is new to you, I encourage you to start incorporating it into your thinking about pastoral care. Our goal is to serve everyone’s needs in the coming year, using a team approach to do so.
Shalom uv’ racha (Peace and Blessing),
Judy Gelman, President