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Miss Shul Manners

Dear Miss Shul Manners:

I notice that people at Adat Shalom often bend and bow and raise on tippy toes during a service. I know Adat Shalom is really touchy-feely, but is this some kind of yoga workout?

Surprised in Silver Spring

Dear Miss Shul Manners:

I had a very traditional upbringing, and I remember being taught that one does not bow for the blessing in the Amidah right before the Kedusha. (The Kedusha is the third blessing in the Amidah, the one that is translated "Holy, holy, holy..."---MSM) But at AS folks, including Rabbi, bow. Could you clarify this one for me, and what classical literature does one consult for the answer?

Curious Congregant

Dear Surprised and Curious:

Miss Shul Manners is happy to let you in on a "secret". Only it's not really a secret: traditional Jewish prayer involves the whole self, all the senses and the kinesthetic self: visualizing, speaking, wrapping in a garment and fringes, hearing and moving. Oh yes, smell and taste come in too---wine and challah, how could it be Jewish without food???? Anyway, this specific question refers to the choreography of t he Amidah, which means standing, and is the central prayer of any service, that is done standing up.

At Adat Shalom, we first rise for this prayer at "Tzur Yisrael" (Rock of Israel), at the end of the "Mi Chamocha/Who among the mighty" prayer. We rise at Tzur Yisrael because it is translated "Rock of Israel, RISE UP to the help of Israel".

The Amidah then begins with a brief silent meditation, "Adonai S'fatai TIFTACH (FROM THE WORD LIFTOACH)...Open my lips". Here comes the choreography: many people begin by taking three steps back, then three steps forward, meant to indicate entering into the divine Presence, then bowing left and right. In beginning the Amidah, traditionally, one bends the knee at Baruch, bows at Atah (one siddur notes not lower than the waist, in order not to seem overly pious!) and straightens at Adonai. This same pattern is repeated with the Chatimah, the seal, of the paragraph, which is the end line "Baruch Atah Adonai Magen Avraham V'Ezrat Sarah", Blessed are You, the Shield of Abraham and the help of Sarah". As a side note, according to traditional practice, one does not bow with the "elohay avraham, elohay yitzhak" part since it is bowing to a person, not to God.

Here's the tricky part you've alluded to, Curious Congregant. The second paragraph of the Amidah, the G'vurot, or Divine Power, is a part where, traditionally, one does not bow. Why, you ask? Well, I'll do my best to tell you. But first, a warning. The following special announcement comes from an oral tradition, since neither the Reuven Hammer commentary on Siddur Sim Shalom, nor "My People's Prayerbook" by Larry Hoffman has any comment as to why no bowing here. (Although Reuven Hammer notes that one does not bow here.) Our own internal source Cantor Rachel, responds to the question with the following: "The reason that we do not bow at the bracha just before the kedusha is because that bracha, in the original language is lauding God as the one who "brings the dead back to life" (m'chayeh hamayteem.) It was decided that it was inappropriate to bow to the idea of raising the dead. Of course, in modern interpretations of this traditional liturgy, these words could come to mean something other than the literal "bringing life back to the dead" and could mean, perhaps, enlivening those who are "dead" in spirit or heart. In any case, in the Reform and Reconstructionist versions, we do not say these words, but instead say, "m'chayeh kol chai" - God is the One who gives life to the LIVING. So, why not bow here as with the other brachot? On the other hand, why not preserve the custom of remaining erect for the sake of k'lal Yisrael." Pick your favorite Reconstructionist logic, MSM says. Rabbi George and Rabbi Fred indicated to me that the ArtScroll Siddur, a very traditional source, tells one when to bow, but not why. And, Curious, Miss Shul Manners is disappointed to let you know that her own children, who attend a local Jewish Day School, were fully aware of the custom of not bowing with G'vurot/Power, but had no idea why not. What am I paying this tuition for?

Ok, let's catch our breath here and take the long view for a moment. We are talking about some very specific practices in tiny, obsessive detail. D'ya have to bow at Adat Shalom? Absolutely not! But in order to reconstruct a practice or find its meaning (or lack thereof) for yourself, you have to understand it fully. Miss Shul Manners would note that much of life is lived in the dynamic tension between practical detail and gestalt view of relevance and values.

On to the Kedushah/Holiness choreography in the next installment of "Miss Shul Manners". Stay tuned!

-----Shabbat Shalom,
Miss Shul Manners

Dear Miss Shul Manners:

I've noticed that there are times when the ushers try to keep people in the back of the sanctuary during Shabbat services. Why do they do this and when does it happen?

Baffled in Bethesda

Dear Baffled:

There are several times in particular during the service when both congregants and officiating clergy require few distractions so that they can concentrate on prayer. Adat Shalom's ushers are asked to hold people in the back of the sanctuary with these instructions: "Late arrivals can participate by standing in the back of the sanctuary and refrain from taking seats when:

  1. The Ark is open
  2. The congregation is standing
  3. During the two lines of the Shma and the full Amidah
  4. When the Rabbi or other individual is speaking from the bimah
  5. During readings by an individual from the bimah"

The one that seems to be most confusing is waiting until the end of the Amidah. Many people first arrive during that time, and the expectation is that people wait in the back until the end of the Amidah, when we sing (and sway, a "traditional" Adat Shalom custom) for "Oseh Shalom". The Amidah begins with Avot and Imahot, and continues through the Gevurot, the Kedushah and the silent part, which ends with the singing of "Oseh Shalom". This standing and silent prayer is a time for deep reflection and meditation, and some members have noted to Miss Shul Manners how much they appreciate the lack of distraction.

Those of you who are "of a certain age" may remember a soda commercial some years ago for "the pause that refreshes"...was it Coke? Pepsi? 7-Up? Who remembers? But there are special times in our services that are meant to be "the pause that refreshes"....

Not entering during these times is a matter of respect for both our clergy and other community members. Please wait patiently until the ushers give you the go-ahead to enter.

-----Miss Shul Manners

Dear Miss Shul Manners:

My husband comes from a secular Jewish background, and feels uncomfortable wearing a kippah. What can I tell him about wearing a kippah at Adat Shalom?

---Perplexed on Persimmon Tree

Dear Perplexed:

Well, first of all, he is not alone. We have all kinds of members who never wore a kippah or who saw it only as the province of the "religious" or more traditional Jew to wear a kippah. But this is a misunderstanding of kippah. Kippah is a custom, not a law, and it does not indicate the religiosity of the wearer. It is simply considered a sign of respect for being in a sacred space. In fact, Miss Shul Manners would note, that it is a PPSD, a personal, portable, sacred device that puts the wearer into his/her sacred space wherever he is, in the blink of an eye, simply by placing it on his head. (Hers, too.) At Adat Shalom, all men are requested to wear a kippah in the sanctuary, including non-Jewish men, as a sign of respect. (You know all those politicians who have their photos taken in a kippah? Well, they are actually practicing proper shul etiquette! And you thought they were pretending to be Jewish, didn't you?) Our ushers will offer a kippah to every male that enters the sanctuary. Our policy also encourages women to wear a kippah for the same reasons. Miss Shul Manners does believe, and this is her own personal belief, not an Adat Shalom policy, that coming to shul is the highest value and if that means your husband strongly prefers not to wear a kippah but wishes to come anyway, by all means bring him with you! Kippah is not the only way to define sacred space or to show respect. And, oh yes, there isn't anything magic about the 6 panelled satin number with the button----any head covering will do.

---Miss Shul Manners